Relief

Its been a while.
I haven’t sat down to write in too long.
It’s time I make a habit with a huge update.
I don’t remember when it started, but I know the journey.
So a story with no beginning, is kind of incomplete.
Well buckle up, cause you’ll learn all about it.
Initially I stopped writing,
But not cause I wanted to.
I needed a way to break free,
Of a cage that confined me.
A cage built in loneliness.
A cage built in deceit.
But see, writing was my escape,
At least, until it wasn’t.
So what happened that changed it?
Well for that story, just look at my history.
Every work I’ve published,
And most of my private.
Every word i had typed,
Every song that I sang.
It’s filled with pain,
It’s filled with hurt.
It’s filled with the blood of deceit,
From the blades of betrayal.
It’s filled with broken hearts,
It’s filled with my shattered soul.
From my first to my last,
Every love, every hope.
It’s filled with the trap,
Of staying alone.
I hoped someone would ask,
Didn’t know I had to show.
I wore mask and hopped someone would know,
That the real me was hidden inside.
I published work after work,
Leaving clues to me.
But not once, did I remove the mask.
I locked myself in a cage,
But this cage was different.
I started lying to myself,
Becoming those that hurt me.
I told myself that someone would know,
Someone would see.
I thought that maybe just had to wait,
And maybe someone would see the clues.
And as I waited, the me I hid,
Slowly died.
The me that wrote poems,
And left clues for my escape.
The me I wanted to free,
But thought someone would save.
That me became weak,
To point he stopped writing.
That me that was trying to be free,
Forever trapped in this cage.
I continued to hope,
And continued to hide.
The mask I fashioned,
Hiding more each day.
I didn’t know that I had to free myself.
I had to be my own hero.
I has to remove the mask,
and reveal what is inside.
My long silence,
Was my disappearance.
I left those I loved,
Watching them be hurt by my leave.
I couldn’t feel myself,
I couldn’t escape my cage.
And when I learned the truth,
I was sure it was too late.
The world had moved on,
And I was still in limbo.
A cage with no door,
No key. No escape.
I built it around me,
In my own self deceit.
My dying soul shattered,
My mask, made permanent.
I left a few friends,
Left those I loved.
I found a new life,
In the age of college search.
A life without love,
A life built alone.
I focused on me,
And on my desires.
And little did I know,
I was getting stronger.
Not me on the out side,
But the me I was hiding.
My cage started to change,
Started to vanish.
My mask started melting,
And falling off of me.
I don’t know when it started,
But I know it hasn’t ended.
I’m back in force,
No mask hiding me away.
For once in a long time,
I can legitimately say I’m happy.
I can’t remember the last time I felt joy,
The last time I could smile.
I’m finally free,
From my cage with no key.
I’m back to write,
But no pain to write away.
I’m back in the saddle,
Leading my own life.
Still not ready to love,
Given my rough past.
But some day I might,
And I won’t need a mask.
I can finally be me,
No longer hurting and hiding.
I can finally forgive,
And I can finally forget.
I can face the future,
And not see the past.
I can finally see,
I can finally walk.
On a road to the future,
Let’s see what it holds.
I hope you will join me,
And celebrate my freedom.
Maybe someday you’ll see your own,
If you haven’t already.
I hope to see everyone,
Loosen their baggage.
Rediscover themselves,
And unlock their cage.
We all have struggles,
We all have choices.
It’s time to decide,
And it’s never too late.
Time to rid your past from your future,
And leave it behind.
Time to walk forward,
And find your trail to the future.
It is so freeing,
To write without pain.
To write just for leisure,
And not in requirement.
Great to see the world,
Without a dark mask.
Amazing to smile,
And not hide a frown.
So as I leave off,
I just have question,
What is your cage,
And who is the mask controlling it?

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